Tag Archives: forgiveness

TO MANIFEST YOUR DESIRES – REWRITE YOUR PAST!

6 Jun

When you think about your past, what  makes the old you that lived your old story and your memory of the experiences come alive? Do certain smells trigger a memory? What about music? A song can remind you of a moment in time where you were changed forever. But were you frozen in time? Do you still tell the old story the same way?

Memory is more than just a story – it’s a living part of us and can determine how successful we will be in manifesting our desires for a better life by how strongly we still identify with the self that experienced the past.

Last night Marc and me sat down to watch the Rock N Roll Hall of Fame’s annual award show on TV. It was amazing how all the bands and artists as different as they were had played such an important role as the soundtrack of my life from as early as age 14 to well into my 30’s marking significant moments of feeling like I didn’t belong, growing up, getting really lost, hitting bottom, claiming freedom and finding the broken pieces of myself I left behind in the wake of my becoming.

And (I am really dating myself here) songs from the band Yes to Journey to the late Tupac Shakur, producer Nile Rogers, to Pearl Jam all reminded me of painful moments that are memories that I have long since re-written.

Listening to these important songs ( to me) reminded me how disconnected I had been at one time and another in my life, always searching, yearning for something I didn’t know was inside me trying to find answers for the suffering and abuse but coming up empty. The old me was someone who was ashamed, unworthy, feisty without self esteem, looking for a rescue without respect for the ones who tried. How different things are now.

Those same songs are like sacred journey markers too. I can go back to those moments as I am today and re-write the story from a perspective of empowerment and humility rather than powerless and humiliation.

I have already done that and I went to bed pondering this very thing deeply grateful for the work I put in. The past can be such a sticky place and until we deal with it how many of us trap ourselves like bugs in amber?

The secret to moving forward and co-creating a better life is to set yourself free from the stories you tell about your past.

  • Can you forgive and release your resentments?
  • Can you practice radical acceptance?

Can you relate to this at all? Manifesting is the art of calling essence into being, the invisible into the tangible  and it requires the essence of your desire to be devoid of baggage.

The arrow you shoot to hit your mark needs to soar through the air on the winds of gratitude and joy. We discover the gifts through curiosity and innocence.  How can we expect to be happy if we keep reclaiming the victim, the unlovable, the entitlement, and the expectation that others will always disappoint?

Truth is.. If you or I still play a song and cringe with shame or cling to a nostalgia for the good old days there is still work to do. Loving things as they are, as you are, right here in this moment, releasing our need to see ourselves as victims of our past is a responsibility that is true. Who will you become without telling the tale of woe?

If you are committed to manifest your desires, see your past through a new pair of eyes. Tell the new story often enough and you will reap the greatest rewards. Then when you hear that song… you will smile and know you have always been loved and Spirit has always had your back.

Love you always!!

7 Reasons You’re Not as Successful as You Could Be

19 Feb

Feeling down about your forward progress lately?  Do you feel like you’re running in place?  Need some motivation and tough love to help you reinvigorate your success rate?  Well, here you go – seven reasons you’re not the great success story you could be:

7 Reasons You’re Not as Successful as You Could Be

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The difference between a successful person and others is not a lack of strength, not a lack of knowledge, but rather a lack in will.
–Vince Lombardi

1.  You do a lot of thinking without acting.

Too often we think without acting.  We do nothing with our ideas.  Everyone who has ever taken a long, hot shower has had many great ideas.  I’m sure you can relate.  But you will only make a difference in this world if you get out of the shower, dry off and do something with them.

The only way to conquer your dreams and doubts is with action.  Wondering about them will not get anything done.  Avoiding challenges will only make them grow bigger.  If you wait until all conditions are perfect, you will spend the rest of your life waiting.

Great achievements are made by starting from exactly where you are right now with exactly what you have right now.  Stop wondering and start doing.  Once you’ve made a little progress you’ll always know, without a doubt, that you can make even more progress if you try.

2.  Your creative mind is completely unfocused.

Constraints nurture productive side of the creative mind.  At first it might seem as though complete freedom makes all creative ventures more attainable, but this isn’t the truth.  Complete freedom makes the possibilities endless, but keeps your efforts scattered and unfocused.

Often, self-imposed constraints, or boundaries, force you to think differently about challenges, leading to more practical ideas and innovations.  Instead of thinking ‘outside the box’ and looking in every possible direction, get inside onebox – a specific problem that needs a resolution, a smaller space where big changes can be made, etc. – and focus your creative attention on making a difference.

These boundaries create the foundation from which to launch a productive, creative effort.  It’s like pushing off from the ground when riding a skateboard, or from the wall of the pool when you’re swimming laps – having something solid to push against allows you to move forward with greater ease and more power.  And over time, as you test these boundaries by pushing against them, you figure out which ones can be broken and expanded, and which ones need to remain fixed in place.

3.  You are focusing too much on fears and defeats.

Your problems are really your blessings if you use them to grow stronger.  Never quit just because you feel temporarily defeated.  You have not been beaten – this is not a competition.  Keep working to be the best you can be.  It doesn’t matter how slow you go so long as you don’t give up on yourself.

In the long run, it usually isn’t what you have or where you are or what you’ve been through that makes or breaks you; it’s how you think about it all and what you do next.  Focus your conscious mind on things you desire, not your fears and defeats.  Doing so brings dreams to life.

4.  Your expectations are crushing you.

Drop the needless expectations.  Appreciate what is.  It doesn’t matter if your glass is half empty or half full.  Just be thankful that you have a glass and that there’s something in it.  Choosing to be positive and having an appreciative attitude influences everything you do.  The magnitude of your happiness and success will be directly proportional to the magnitude of your thoughts and how you choose to think about things.

Nothing ever works out exactly the way you want it to.  Hope for the best, but expect less.  Appreciate reality, don’t fight it.  Don’t let what you expected to happen blind you from all the goodness happening around.  Even if it doesn’t work out at all, it’s still worth it if it made you feel something new, and if it taught you something new.

5.  You have become distracted from your core goals.

People might tell you it’s impossible, but it’s not.  Though the challenges may be great, you can make things happen.  The odds may not seem to be in your favor right now, but you can change the odds.  When something difficult you want to achieve connects deeply with your purpose, it becomes possible.  When you are driven and committed and persistent, you will get yourself there step by step.

So look within yourself and unearth the values and goals that you most earnestly feel a deep connection with.  In the end, it’s the things that are genuinely important to you that will power your greatest achievements.

6.  You are playing it too safe.

Pain is a pesky part of being human but it’s vitally important.  It strengthens the mind, heart and body.  You can’t grow strong, brave, or successful in this world if you’ve only had good things happen to you within the safe boundaries of your own little comfort bubble.  You need real life experiences, and nothing ever becomes real until you experience it firsthand.

No matter how long you train yourself to be strong, brave, or proficient at something, you never know if you are or not until something real happens to you.  So get real, experience life and let it teach you what you need to know to conquer your wildest dreams.

7.  You have been resisting forgiveness.

Alexander Pope once said, “To err is human, to forgive, divine.”  Nothing could be closer to the truth.  Your willingness to forgive yourself and others is the greatest sign of your emotional and spiritual maturity.  It’s a process of acceptance and understanding that allows you to let go of a situation that’s over so you can move on with your life.

The key is to be thankful for every experience – positive or negative.  It’s taking a step back and saying, «Thank you for the lesson».

Take a moment and imagine if every person (including yourself) who owed you an apology apologized today, and imagine if you accepted these apologies.  What a weight lifted.  Now imagine if everyone, everywhere did this.  How many problems in the world would evaporate?

Photo by: Hartwig HKD

 

Give Yourself Permission to Forgive

14 Sep

FORGIVENESS IS a difficult area for most of us. We all need to do forgiveness work. Anyone who has a problem with loving themselves is stuck in this area. Forgiveness opens our hearts to self-love.

Many of us carry grudges for years and years. We feel self-righteous because of what someone else did to us. I call this being stuck in the prison of self-righteous resentment. We get to be right. We never get to be happy.

I can hear you saying, “But you don’t know what they did to me; it’s unforgivable.” Being unwilling to forgive is a terrible thing to do to ourselves. Bitterness is like swallowing a teaspoon of poison every day. It accumulates and harms us. It’s impossible to be healthy and free when we keep ourselves bound to the past. The incident is long gone and over with. Yes, it’s true that they didn’t behave well. However, it’s over. Sometimes we feel that if we forgive them, then we’re saying that what they did to us was okay.

One of our biggest spiritual lessons is to understand that everyone is doing the best they can at any given moment. People can only do so much with the understanding, awareness, and knowledge that they have. Invariably, anyone who mistreats someone was mistreated themselves as a child. The greater the level of violence, the greater their own inner pain, and the more they may lash out. This is not to say that their behavior is acceptable or excusable. However, for our own spiritual growth, we must be aware of their pain.

The incident is over. Perhaps long over. Let it go. Allow yourself to be free. Come out of prison and step into the sunshine of life. If the incident is still going on, then ask yourself why you think so little of yourself that you still put up with it. Why do you stay in such a situation?

Raise your self-esteem to such a level that you only allow loving experiences in your life. Don’t waste time trying to “get even.” It doesn’t work. What we give out always comes back to us. So let’s drop the past and work on loving ourselves in the now. Then we will have a wonderful future.

The person who is hardest to forgive is the one who can teach you the greatest lessons. When you love yourself enough to rise above the old situation, then understanding and forgiveness will be easy. And you’ll be free.

I’d like to suggest that you do some mirror work on forgiveness. Look into your eyes in the mirror and say with feeling, I am willing to forgive! Repeat this several times. What are you feeling? Do you feel stubborn and stuck, or do you feel open and willing?

Just notice your feelings. Don’t judge them. Breathe deeply a few times, and repeat the process. Does it feel any different?

An interesting phenomenon is that when we do our own forgiveness work, other people often respond to it. It’s not necessary to go to the person involved and tell them that you forgive them. Sometimes you’ll want to do this, but you don’t have to. The major work in forgiveness is done in your own heart.

Forgiveness is seldom for “them.” It’s for us.

I’ve heard from many people who have truly forgiven someone, and then a month or two later, they may receive a phone call or a letter from the other person, asking to be forgiven. This seems to be particularly true when forgiveness exercises are done in front of the mirror, so as you do this exercise notice how deep your feelings might be.

Here are some affirmations to bring more forgiveness and self-love into your life:

I refuse to limit myself. I am always willing to take the next step.

They were doing the best they could with the knowledge, understanding, and awareness that they had at the time.

I am grown up now, and I take loving care of my inner child.

There is no right or wrong. I move beyond my judgment.

I give myself permission to let go.

Louise L. Hay, the author of the international bestseller You Can Heal Your Life, is a metaphysical lecturer and teacher with more than 50 million books sold worldwide. For more than 30 years, she has helped people throughout the world discover and implement the full potential of their own creative powers for personal growth and self-healing. She has appeared on The Oprah Winfrey Show and many other TV and radio programs both in the U.S. and abroad.