Tag Archives: DR. CHRISTIANE NORTHRUP

Una relación sana y armónica entre madre e hija.

3 Ago

Cada hija lleva consigo a su madre. Es un vínculo eterno del que nunca nos podremos desligar. Porque, si algo debe quedarnos claro, es que siempre contendremos algo de nuestras madres.

Para tener salud y ser felices, cada una de nosotras tenemos que conocer de qué manera nuestra madre influyó en nuestra historia y cómo sigue haciéndolo. Ella es la que antes de nacer nos ofrece nuestra primera experiencia de cariño y de sustento. Y es a través de ella que comprendemos qué es ser mujer y cómo podemos cuidar o descuidar nuestro cuerpo.

“Nuestras células se dividieron y desarrollaron al ritmo de los latidos de su corazón; nuestra piel, nuestro pelo, corazón, pulmones y huesos fueron alimentados por su sangre, sangre que estaba llena de las sustancias neuroquímicas formadas como respuesta a sus pensamientos, creencias y emociones. Si sentía miedo, ansiedad, nerviosismo, o se sentía muy desgraciada por el embarazo, nuestro cuerpo se enteró de eso; si se sentía segura, feliz y satisfecha, también lo notamos.”
-Christiane Northrup-
“La mejor herencia de una madre a una hija es haberse sanado como mujer”
-Christiane Northrup

Cualquier mujer, sea o no sea madre, lleva consigo las consecuencias de la relación que ha tenido con su progenitora. Si esta ha transmitido mensajes positivos acerca del cuerpo femenino y de la manera en la que hay que trabajarlo y cuidarlo, sus enseñanzas siempre formarán parte de una guía para su salud física y emocional.

Sin embargo, la influencia de las madres también puede resultar problemática cuando el papel que ejercen resulta tóxico debido a una actitud descuidada, celosa, chantajista o controladora.

Cuando conseguimos comprender los efectos que la crianza ha tenido en nosotras, comenzamos a estar dispuestas a comprendernos, a sanarnos, a ser capaces de asimilar lo que creemos de nuestro cuerpo o a explorar lo que consideramos posible conseguir en la vida.

La atención materna, un nutriente esencial para toda la vida

Cuando una cámara de televisión enfoca a alguien del público en un evento deportivo o cualquier otro acontecimiento… ¿Qué grita la gente generalmente? “¡¡Hola mamá!!”.

Casi todos nosotros tenemos la necesidad de ser vistos por nuestras madres, buscamos su aprobación. En origen, esta dependencia obedece a cuestiones biológicas, pues las necesitamos para subsistir durante muchos años; sin embargo, la necesidad de afecto y de aprobación se forja desde el minuto uno, desde que la miramos para ver si algo estamos haciendo bien o si somos merecedores de una caricia.

al y como señala Northrup, el vínculo madre-hija está estratégicamente diseñado para ser una de las relaciones más positivas, comprensivas e íntimas que tendremos en la vida. Sin embargo, esto no siempre sucede así…

Con el paso de los años esta necesidad de aprobación puede volverse patológica, generando unas obligaciones emocionales que propiciarán que nuestra madre tenga el poder de nuestro bienestar durante toda o casi toda nuestra vida.

El hecho de que nuestra madre nos reconozca y nos acepte es una sed que tenemos que saciar, a pesar de que para ello tengamos que sufrir.  Esto supone una pérdida de independencia y de libertad que nos apaga y nos transforma.

¿Cómo comenzar a crecer como mujer y como hija?

No podemos escapar de ese vínculo, pues sea o no sea sano, manejará siempre nuestro futuro a su antojo.

La decisión de crecer implica limpiar las heridas emocionales o cualquier cuestión que haya quedado inconclusa en la primera mitad de nuestra vida. Esta transición no es una tarea fácil, pues primero tenemos que detectar cuáles son las partes de la relación materno-filial que requieren de resolución y curación.

De ello depende nuestro sentimiento de valía presente y futuro. Esto sucede porque siempre hay una parte de nosotras que piensa que debemos darnos en exceso a nuestra familia o a nuestra pareja para ser merecedoras de amor.

La maternidad e incluso el amor de mujer siguen siendo sinónimos culturales de sacrificio en la mente colectiva. Esto supone que nuestras necesidades queden  siempre relegadas al cumplimiento o no de las de los demás. Como consecuencia, no nos dedicamos a cultivar nuestra mente de mujer, sino a moldearla al gusto de la sociedad en la que vivimos.

Las expectativas del mundo sobre nosotras pueden llegar a ser muy crueles. De hecho, yo hablaría de que constituyen un verdadero veneno que nos obliga a olvidar nuestra individualidad.

Esta son las razones que hacen tan necesaria la ruptura con la cadena del dolor y la sanación íntegra de nuestros vínculos o los recuerdos que tenemos de ellos. Debemos percatarnos de que estos hace tiempo que se convirtieron en espirituales y, por lo tanto, nos toca hacer las paces con las rarezas con las que nos tocó vivir. Sean o no sean tan malas.

 

Who Says You Need Someone to Complete You?

1 Sep

A couple years ago, I took a workshop with Jill Rogers called the Seven Sacred Steps. Jill started the workshop with a ritual in which she looked deep into each of our eyes and said, “You are whole, complete, and lacking in nothing.” Tears welled up in my eyes as I felt the truth of this statement from both a soul perspective and as a deep sadness because I still hadn’t found the love (spelled MAN) I was looking for in my life.

Fast-forward a couple years. I now feel “whole, complete, and lacking in nothing.” And guess what? This is NOT because Prince Charming finally rode up to my doorstep. Nope. It is because I have internalized some key things about independence and true love.

1.    In order to feel whole and complete, I first had to know the truth: I AM love. I don’t have to go looking for it. In fact, looking for love outside of myself (such as waiting for “THE” relationship to show up), is, quite possibly, the most agonizing dis-ease I’ve ever experienced. I’ve witnessed this in countless others as well.

2.    If I expect another person (child, parent, lover, boss, or employee) to complete me in any way, I will always be disappointed.

3.    Expectations are premature resentments. Yep—nothing is worse than expecting someone to “complete” you. And then, instead of showing up the way you want them to, they cancel a dinner, a date, an outing, or simply cannot be present with you.

4.    Resentments contribute to chronic degenerative disease, including high blood pressure, heart disease, diabetes, cancer, and arthritis. Your health can’t afford them.

Having said all that, here is the paradox. None of us is an island. We need each other. We are herd creatures. Community equals immunity—science shows that the more diverse your interests and your social interactions, the better your health.

So what is the answer here? How is it possible to know yourself AS LOVE when part of you is longing to be held and touched and gazed at lovingly?

Follow the two steps below. The more you do the two steps below, the MORE you feel yourself AS LOVE. And the more whole you will feel.

 Step one: Feel it to heal it.

About 100% of us have unhealed childhood wounds that are still running our thoughts and our bodies to some extent. Like it or not, it is the unhealed five-year-old who is in the driver’s seat when you are lonely or upset. (See note) She’s the one providing the misguided solution to sit alone at night and devour a quart of New York Super Fudge Chunk ice cream.

The unhealed child in each of us is longing to be held and touched and loved unconditionally. To heal HER, you must first allow her to express how she feels. Chances are good she still has some feelings that she has never dared express. And often they involve someone else, like Mom, Dad, or a love interest. You will KNOW who the person is who is still bugging you.

So give “your unhealed child” a hand towel and a sturdy wall. And let her snap that towel against the wall with a really good, satisfying snap while yelling: “I hate it when your heart is closed to me.” Keep banging that towel against the wall for about five minutes. Then give it a rest. Repeat daily for five days or so. Then take three days off. (This is another trick I learned from Jill Rogers.)

Another way to cleanse these emotions is to take an Epsom salt bath for 20 minutes. As the water drains out of the tub, imagine ALL the anger and hurt going right down the drain.

Repeat as necessary. This is a process, not an event.

Step two: Create community based on your desires.

As I said earlier, we are herd creatures. And we need each other. Years ago, I told my daughters this truth: Everyone is looking for a good gig. Every one of us wants to be invited to a good party. We are ALL looking for the people, places, and events that feel like HOME to us. Like in the old television show Cheers, “You want to go where everybody knows your name.”

When my daughters left home for college, I was struck by the fact that their colleges had meticulously planned and orchestrated the orientation process in such a way that friendships and community were virtually guaranteed. The colleges knew that the relationships they formed at this pivotal moment would likely last a lifetime—or at least during their four years of schooling.

Back then, I was newly divorced—and felt cut adrift from the social life I had known—and I couldn’t help but think that midlife adults needed what my daughters were experiencing as freshmen. But it didn’t exist. So instead of continuing to feel lonely, I decided to get out of my comfort zone and pursue an unfulfilled desire.

I had always wanted to learn how to dance. I started there. Without a partner. And without knowing a soul. Dancing was my true north. Now I have my community—we dance close-embrace tango, cook meals, go sailing, and go to movies. I feel whole, and complete, and lacking in nothing. And each day life gets better.

You can do exactly the same thing! With a little creative thinking, you’ll see that there are plenty of things you can do on your own that won’t make you feel alone. There’s no time like the present to pursue one of your burning, unfulfilled desires. Chances are it will open you up to new people and experiences that you’ll enjoy more than you ever thought possible. Just remember: YOU are whole, complete, and lacking in nothing. Hold onto that feeling, and let the Law of Attraction work its magic.

Note: To know the age of your inner child in need of healing, pick a number between one and ten. Whatever age first comes to mind is the age of the child in charge.

Have you ever felt you were lacking or incomplete? If so, how did you deal with your discomfort? Have you ever stepped out of your comfort zone and tried something new as a way to meet new people or develop a new side of yourself? I would love to hear what you think. I welcome any and all comments. And please share this blog with anyone you think could benefit from reading it.

This information is not intended to treat, diagnose, cure, or prevent any disease. All material in this article is provided for educational purposes only. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care provider with any questions you have regarding a medical condition, and before undertaking any diet, exercise, or other health program.

 

For up-to-the-minute as well as timeless medical advice in Dr. Northrup’s extensive library of articles and podcasts, visit DrNorthrup.com.