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25 Years Without a Job

24 Jul

It’s been 25 years since I last had a job working for someone else, so I thought I’d share some reflections on what life is like on the jobless path.

Freedom to Choose

The most basic benefit of not having a job is exactly what you’d expect. There’s a lot more freedom to choose how to spend your time and what kind of life to create. This is indeed a powerful benefit, one that takes years to fully realize though.

When you aren’t tethered to a job, it becomes obvious that you’re responsible for your affairs and that you’ll need to make the big decisions yourself. This level of freedom can feel overwhelming at times, and it’s unrealistic to think that you’ll somehow create a masterful life in the first six months. You’ll still be limited by your ability to mentally and physically create the reality you desire.

On this path your personal shortcomings feed into your lifestyle limitations, so this is almost by definition a very growth-oriented path to pursue.

This is also a path of self-trust. The one time I had a job, I became an employee because I didn’t really trust myself, and I felt I needed the stabilizing effect of following orders for a while. After several months I realized that I could and should trust myself to lead my own life instead of hiring a boss to manage part of it for me. Surely I’d make some mistakes, but I’d learn and grow from them. And that is indeed what happened.

Achieving Goals

I like that I’ve been able to achieve a variety of personal goals that would have been hard to achieve if I had a job all this time. I created and published several computer games. I wrote a book and saw it published in many languages. I served as president of a non-profit association. I built two successful businesses. I traveled to many places I’ve always wanted to visit like Paris, London, Berlin, Rome, Amsterdam, and more. I built two successful forum communities. I trained in martial arts and ran a marathon. I designed and delivered 16 three-day workshops. I’ve made some unusual and interesting friends.

Or I could have worked at regular jobs for the past 25 years, in which case I probably wouldn’t have accomplished such a variety of personal goals. I would have built a career instead of having a life. Instead of collecting so many amazing memories, I’d be looking back on a much more mundane timeline of my past. I’m sure I still would have accomplished a lot, but those accomplishments would have been less varied and more constrained.

Instead of having to work on achieving an employer’s goals, I love working full-time on my own goals. I don’t have to squeeze my goals into my after-work hours. I don’t even have to squeeze them into my work hours. If a goal is important enough to me, I can push work aside and go after the goal full steam ahead.

This year my big goal is creating and launching Conscious Growth Club, a long-term project I’ve been working on for a few months now. It’s a challenge to be sure, and I’m loving the process of co-creating it with other personal growth enthusiasts. I can’t fathom how I’d tackle a project like this if I had a job sucking up my time and energy.

It’s also great that my work keeps pace with my skills because I decide which goals to set. I don’t have to be bored because my work is too easy or stressed out because it’s too hard. I can keep myself in the sweet spot of motivation by choosing goals wisely. This leads to bursts of high motivation where it’s fun to plow through 12+ hours of stimulating work in a day, followed by extended breaks for rest, play, and social time.

There’s just no substitute for holding the reins and being captain of your own ship.

 

Self-Expression

One of the key benefits of this path is being able to express my values more congruently than I could if I’d had a job all this time. The more I follow this path, the more it sinks in that my life is my responsibility, and I don’t have to live like everyone else does. I can do things my way because I don’t have a corporation dictating how I manage my time or run my affairs. I’m not a cog in someone else’s machine.

That entails more responsibility of course. I can’t turn around and blame my boss or company when I make mistakes. I have more freedom to experiment, to take risks, and to fail, so the responsibility for my results is more obvious. I can’t just gripe about excess bureaucracy or company politics to let myself off the hook. I’m always on the hook for how my life turns out.

Many people with jobs have to deal with values conflicts with their employer. For instance, you might care about helping customers solve their problems, but maybe your employer wants you to push for more sales. Or you might value good health habits while your company succumbs to a culture of junk food and soda. And quite often employers have chaotically shifting values that are unclear, so you never know whether you’re aligned with them or not.

Values conflicts are a part of life, but without a job, I eliminate many of these issues from my day-to-day life, so I’m able to express my values more congruently. I can write about any topics I desire with no censorship of my ideas. When I eat lunch at work, all the food is vegan. I keep my website free of third-party advertising since I don’t want to distract my readers with clutter. I can take as much vacation time as I desire, and no boss will ever complain.

This works well if you’re very self-motivated. If you need someone to pat you on the back for every accomplishment, like receiving a positive evaluation from your boss, you might miss having people formally recognize your successes. Without a job your motivation has to be more intrinsic to stay on track. You need to be satisfied by the natural rewards of accomplishing your goals and expressing your values because sometimes you’ll be the only one who cares or notices.

Financial Freedom

It took me several years and a bankruptcy to achieve the level of abundance I wanted. Lots of entrepreneurs struggle in the beginning because there’s so much to learn, and so many mistakes are possible. But if you’re intelligent, flexible, and willing to learn from those with more experience, you can eventually enjoy financial abundance without needing a job. This means that money is no longer a serious limitation to creating the type of life you desire.

When money is abundant, it becomes obvious that time is really the scarcest resource. Consequently, having more financial freedom can actually motivate you to improve your time management and to overcome procrastination. You’ll soon realize that money has no power of its own. Fat stacks just sit there and do nothing by default. It takes time to spend money if you want to spend it wisely.

As many friends who’ve built passive income streams have discovered, achieving financial abundance doesn’t automatically create an awesome life. Far from it! You still have to invest your time, energy, and intellect into figuring out what to do with your time. Even if you just travel around, it takes effort to figure out where to go next. It takes effort to figure out what to do each day. And if you aren’t careful, you could fall into a slump of depression if you allow yourself to slack off from personal growth.

Having more money won’t wipe out your problems. It will simply give you a different class of problems to deal with. The post-abundance challenges aren’t any easier than the pre-abundance challenges, but in some ways it’s easier to fall into a slump on the post-abundance side because you don’t have so much financial pressure pushing you to take action. You have to learn how to motivate yourself with positive action even in the absence of financial pressure. For some people this is really hard to do.

I know – it’s an enviable problem to have, but in practice it’s a real challenge to figure out how to spend one’s time when money isn’t such a limiting factor anymore.

I learned that money is a downright awful motivator for me. Even when I was broke, I couldn’t get very excited about following through on action steps to earn more money. Whenever I tried to earn more, I encountered failure, resistance, and setbacks. My path to abundance was to focus on creating a purposeful and fulfilling life regardless of how much money I had. That mindset was my path to abundance.

In retrospect this makes sense because money is a social instrument – really it’s a form of social debt – and trying to make people become indebted to you isn’t very inspiring. Focusing on the social side instead of the instrument side makes a world of difference since then you’ll be thinking about doing something that matters to your fellow human beings. The social side gets you taking actions that lead to social exchanges, whereby money can finally flow to you. Money flows to you through other people. If you focus too much on the money, the people aspect might block you from receiving.

I think many of us perpetuate our financial problems so we can avoid dealing with the bigger, scarier challenges like how to invest our precious days while our death timers are counting down. It can be less harrowing to deal with the challenges of financial scarcity instead of facing harder questions like, What should I do with the next decade of my life? Sometimes it’s easier to worry about the bills instead of your relationships, your life purpose, or your entire existence.

Finding the Best Rhythms

In order to feel grounded and to be reasonably productive, I need to have some structure in my life. In some ways this is easier without a job, but in other ways it’s harder. I don’t inherit the built-in structure of a job, but I can define my own working rhythm that may be a much better match for my personality and goals. I can also do a better job of integrating my work and my personal life. My personal world and my business world can be the same world.

I began today with my usual morning routine. I got up at 5am, went for a run while listening to some podcasts; did some stretching; sat in the park and reflected on life, the universe, and everything; had oatmeal with fresh blueberries for breakfast; and started my workday. I love to begin my days with cardio exercise because it’s an instant mood booster, it strengthens my self-discipline, and it rebalances hormones and neurotransmitters, so I feel mentally sharp for the coming day.

When I had a job, I didn’t care so much about optimizing my startup routine for each day. There was a disconnect between my productivity and my results. As an employee I sometimes prided myself on how little real work I got done each day. I didn’t like my boss, especially due to his bad temper and his use of fear tactics to manage people, so perhaps being unproductive was my way of punishing him for being such a jerk.

Without a job, however, being unproductive makes no sense since it’s clear that I’m wasting my precious life. So I’m very motivated to stay sharp and squeeze a lot of juice out of each day. If I don’t keep my standards high, I suffer for it, and there’s no one to blame but myself.

If I ever slack off, I can reboot myself whenever I want. I don’t have to wait till the end of a shift or a weekend. I can set new goals or pivot to a different rhythm whenever I experience one of those golden awareness boosts. If I want to start a new habit trial, I can kick it off as soon as I’m ready. I don’t have to work around my employer’s schedule.

If I feel unmotivated or burnt out, I can take a vacation starting the very next day (or in some cases, the same day). I can stay on vacation for as long as I want. I’ve taken breaks for 30+ days more than once. Taking a full month off can be very restorative, and I usually hit the ground running when I return.

I write when I’m inspired to write, not on some employer-dictated schedule. I don’t arbitrary say to myself, “I have to blog something today.” What draws me to the keyboard is when I’m struck by an idea. I’ve gone as long as seven weeks at a stretch without blogging, and it’s totally fine. It wouldn’t suit me (or my readers) to crank out drivel on a schedule. I’d rather write only when I have something inspired to communicate.

This isn’t the industrial age anymore. Working on a 9-5 schedule isn’t well suited to today’s best opportunities for creative knowledge workers. I feel fortunate that I don’t have anyone imposing such a schedule on me. Discovering my own best rhythms has enabled me to crank out 2 million words for 100 million readers over the years.

My best working rhythms would most likely be punished by an employer. I love putting in 12+ hour days when I’m inspired to work, sometimes for weeks at a stretch. Then I need time to disappear for a few weeks, travel, explore, and switch to a different mode of living – sometimes with less than 24 hours advance notice. During that time off, my subconscious continues working in the background and chewing on problems, frequently feeding me fresh ideas and helping me to figure out new goals. Eventually I can’t hold back the creative pressure anymore, and I’m eager to pounce back into work mode for another cycle. At my best I’m a burster, not a plodder. But what employer respects such a mode of working? If you find an employer like that, maybe that’s a job you should actually consider.

Social Freedom

If I had a job, I’d probably socialize with the same people every day, which could lead to a stagnant social life. I like having the freedom to choose the people I connect with each day instead of inheriting whatever social mandates are assigned by an employer. If someone rubs me the wrong way, I don’t have to deal with them. I can fill my life with friends that I actually like, and we connect socially by choice, not by forced circumstances.

How many people do you connect with each day that you actually like? Most of the social connections I have are with people I genuinely like. If I didn’t like them, I wouldn’t connect with them.

Being self-employed can lead to spending a lot of time alone, especially if you have an Internet business. If you go to an Internet marketing conference, you’ll probably find that the room is 80-90% introverts. Same goes for the speakers. Many of the people you’d think must be total extroverts based on their effervescent YouTube videos are actually quiet and shy when you meet them in person. They can look extroverted when they’re making videos by themselves, but connecting face to face is very different.

Many introverts are perfectly fine with this, preferring to cocoon themselves and do most of their interactions from behind digital devices. If that’s your cup of tea, you might really like life without a job. You can pretty much run your whole life this way today. Or you might prefer a job that minimizes human interaction.

I didn’t want to go that route though since I felt it wouldn’t be as growth-oriented for me, so in the same year I started blogging, I also joined Toastmasters International to develop my public speaking skills. I did this partly to create a better social balance for my life and business. I’m so glad I did that because it gives me the freedom to live as an introvert or an extrovert without being forced to pick a side. Sometimes I love getting away from the computer to engage with people face to face through speaking, workshops, meetups, and traveling. Other times I feel a little overwhelmed with socializing and crave a few weeks to work alone or to enjoy life with my girlfriend.

It’s fair to say that managing my social life has been my biggest challenge since I started blogging. It takes some real conscious thought to strike the right balance, and the right decisions aren’t always clear. I’ve gone through multiple rounds of social expansion and withdrawal to wind my way to a feeling of social abundance that isn’t overwhelming. Building Conscious Growth Club is one of the expansion phases.

I tend to make new friends easily, so I’m glad I don’t have to settle for a socially stunted life. I like having lots of stimulating, growth-oriented friends. I also like having the freedom to create a social life that works for me. I shudder to think of how repressed I’d be socially if I had a job that stunted my ability to thoughtfully manage this part of my life.

I think what I’ve most enjoyed on the social path is meeting other growth-oriented people who like to zig while the rest of the world zags. These people add tremendous richness to my life. And they give me hope that together we may someday entice the rest of the world to stop zagging so much. Haven’t we zagged enough already?

Exploration

Exploring personal growth is my passion, and it would be tough to fully explore this passion if I was tied to a job that limited what I could do.

If I had a 9-5 job, could I have done experiments with polyphasic sleep, water fasting, or going to Disneyland for 30 days in a row? That’s doubtful. Maybe I could do short-term experiments during vacations, but I couldn’t make these kinds of explorations part of my normal lifestyle. And I don’t necessarily want to chew up my vacation time dealing with no sleep, no food, and endlessly looping Disney music.

(As a side note, I finally got most of the Disney music out of my head, but now I’m stuck with the addictive songs from La La Land. And whenever they start to fade, Rachelle starts singing them again.)

Would I have gotten fired for blogging about open relationships or D/s play? Maybe. It would depend on the employer, but who wants to wear a social mask to please their boss? It’s easier just to be myself. I don’t want to have to pretend to be someone else each time I go to work.

I think many people hide behind their jobs as a convenient excuse for not exploring their desires. Exploration involves taking risks and facing fears. It’s easy to settle into a job and tell yourself that you don’t have the time, freedom, or money to identify, clarify, and pursue more interesting goals. Just getting clear about one’s desires can take a lot of work, let alone carving out the time to actually explore them.

I can get wrapped up in my business too, but it’s harder to pretend that I’m not in control of my explorations. If I’m not exploring something I really want to, I have to face and work through the inner resistance. I can’t just externalize an excuse and expect myself to believe it.

The result is that I explore a lot more than I would if I had a job. I don’t have to schedule my explorations during the gaps in my job. I can weave them into my work as well, and there doesn’t need to be a sharp separation between work, life, and play.

Location Freedom

A job can tie you to a single location, but without a job, you can go wherever you want, whenever you want. You can even live on the road if you like.

I once fantasized about going fully nomadic, but I like having a stable home base to come back to, and I sometimes feel burnt out from traveling too long at a stretch. I’m more productive in my home office, and some experiments are much easier to do at home. What works well for me is to oscillate between time at home and time on the road. I’ve gotten pretty good at taking spontaneous trips when I feel it’s time to get away from my desk.

I love that travel isn’t just a dream, but it’s something I can make real whenever I want. Going to other cities and countries has enriched my life tremendously, and I see this being a part of my lifestyle for decades to come.

Skill Breadth and Depth

As an employee I might be able to get by with a narrow set of skills, but to survive and thrive without a job, I’ve had to develop a great variety of skills.

As I shared in the article Mile Wide, Mile Deep, going broad with a skill set doesn’t mean being shallow. You can actually gain more depth from complementary skills that enhance each other.

On my path without a job, I’ve developed skills in programming, writing, business, public speaking, negotiation, coaching, event management, sales, marketing, creating income streams, community building, website development, product development, networking, and more. My college degrees in computer science and mathematics seem like such baby steps with respect to all that I’ve had to learn since then. It often feels like I must continue to earn the equivalent of a new college degree every year or two just to keep up with the rapid pace of change, especially when it comes to doing business online. I always feel like I’m behind in one important area or another, and that pushes me to absorb and apply new ideas quickly.

It’s important to me to have the freedom to direct my own educational path. Every week I devour information, and the more I learn, the more I’m exposed to the naked edges of my understanding.

Lately I’ve been enjoying other people’s coaching programs. I belong to two paid communities at present and will likely join more. Learning this way is more expensive financially, but it’s cheaper time-wise because I can learn faster from experts and coaches than I can from just reading books. I love reading and typically go through about two books per week, but that isn’t what moves the needle forward most of the time.

I think that if I were an employee, I’d fall into the trap of being too comfortable resting on my existing skill set and not pushing to expand and deepen my skills every month. I think I’d spend too much time doing my work the same way over and over instead of questioning how I work and continually seeking to build relevant skills for tomorrow’s world.

Having so many economically useful skills makes it hard to fail since I can always pivot to one skill set or another. I can write articles or books. I can do public speaking. I can do Internet marketing. I know how to build websites, web traffic, and online communities. I can write software, plugins, or video games. I can do basic audio and video editing. I can do consulting or coaching. And so on. I don’t have to worry much about a shift in my field rendering my skills obsolete. In fact, I love it when shifts happen because it allows me to pounce on fresh opportunities before most people even know what’s happening… like when I got into blogging in 2004, the same year WordPress came out.

Developing a variety of skills has made me a faster learner too, so I’m able to quickly build competence in new skills and start using them productively. The more skills I learn, the faster I seem to be able to pick up new skills.

This constant pressure to keep learning can burn some people out. I’ve seen friends go through periods of overwhelm related to worries that they’re falling behind. I succumb to that feeling too sometimes, but overall I love the stimulation of pushing myself to learn, learn, learn. I love looking back on the past month or quarter and taking stock of what I’ve learned. This month I’ve learned a tremendous amount about creating membership sites since I’ve been studying that intensely, especially with the help of resources like Chris Lema and The Membership Guys.

Gratitude

The main emotions I feel when looking back on 25 years without a job are gratitude, appreciation, and relief. This wasn’t a smooth road, and I took some lumps along the way, but I’m really glad I decided to pursue a jobless lifestyle. That decision pushed me to grow in so many ways I doubt I’d have experienced if I’d gone the employee route.

When I think about the next 25 years on this path, I feel happy, excited, and optimistic. Even if I just keep living the way I am now, I think I’d be pretty fulfilled on this path. But I’m sure there will be many changes ahead, and I’m looking forward to navigating them, even if they throw me off balance now and then.

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How To Survive Life’s Greatest Challenges

18 Jul

We’re all on the road to enlightenment, each walking at our own pace and in our own time. If we’ve been on the path for some time, we can feel discouraged when, despite our best efforts, we spiral down and experience dark thoughts and emotions. This may happen due to an unforeseen loss, heartbreak, things not going according to plan or the darker times on the seasonal wheel.

It’s inevitable we’ll all spiral down to the depths of our psyche more than once, so here’s my user guide for finding your way back to the light.

Navigating Life’s Downward Spirals

Everything in life is cyclic – DNA, the seasons, the planets – and so are we!

In the ancient world, people sought feminine wisdom to navigate life’s downward spirals so they could embrace times of chaos and confusion as an opportunity to mature and grow their wisdom.

Without access to these wisdom teachings we can interpret times of chaos as some kind of personal failure, rather than see them as initiations to deepen our personal understanding. So let’s take a look at what can trigger us into a downward spiral.

7 Common Causes of a Downward Spiral 

  1. Autumn/Winter (the darkest seasons)
  2. New Moon (the darkest lunar phase)
  3. Grief – this could be when a relationship ends, as well as the loss of a loved one
  4. Illness/injury
  5. Menstruation
  6. Job loss/career setback
  7. Life transitions such as puberty, pregnancy, early parenthood, mid-life, menopause, milestone birthdays, empty nest syndrome or moving house

Are You Afraid of the Dark, Change or the Unknown?

The dark, times of change and the unknown are all initiations into the feminine side of our psyche. After 5,000 years of feminine wisdom being suppressed, understandably many people are afraid of the dark…. This doesn’t just mean being outside with no flashlight but experiencing our darker thoughts and emotions. Why? We’ve been conditioned to associate darkness with fear, so we resist going within to explore our dark inner states.

In the Goddess tradition, ‘going within’ was celebrated, with festivals at the start of Autumn (Fall) to commemorate the heroes and heroines who took up a quest to explore their wounded inner self during the darker months. The rise of the Roman Empire outlawed this tradition so, instead of the Underworld being perceived as the ‘Cosmic Womb’ to which we return cyclically to rebirth ourselves, we were conditioned to fear the darkness as Hell, a place of eternal suffering. The word, ‘Hell’ was taken from the Norse Goddess, Hel who originally presided as a midwife to help souls navigate their own inner darkness in the Underworld.

7 Pillars of Wisdom to Survive a Downward Spiral

If we focus on the outer world during transition times of intense change, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed. Our challenge is to stay centered and observe the thoughts and feelings surfacing within us. This helps us be in the void – the place of uncertainty. When we’re centered, it’s easier to attune to the deep knowing within us – our intuitive guidance that can direct us like a miner’s light in a cave.

Below is a map of the terrain to navigate your way out of the Underworld the next time you find yourself sitting at the bottom of the well, followed by some practical processes to help you stay centered and access your soul wisdom.

  1. Surrender. Allow everything to unravel as you’ll wear yourself out trying to keep everything together if it’s highest will for your life to fall apart. This initial stage can make us feel crazy with frustration when it seems that nothing is going according to plan, so we may be tempted to throw a cosmic tantrum at what we feel is divine injustice. Like the saying, ‘you have to lose yourself to find yourself’… we often have to lose our minds in order to hear our soul. The feminine initiates us into humility through chaos. We have to surrender to destruction and loss for creation and rebirth to occur. The Celts believed whatever was surrendered to Ceridwen, the Goddess of Death and Rebirth, would always be replaced by a gift of equal value and the bigger the loss, the bigger the rebirth. Ultimately, a new perspective and structure can only emerge if we release the old.
  2. Trust the Process. If we fight the process, we prolong our suffering. Seek to become like the feminine element of water and let go of attachments and expectations while affirming, ‘this too shall pass’. If we resist what is happening, we become rigid, brittle and break whereas if we relax, we’ll do less damage.
  1. Cast the Burden. Like the adage, ‘ask and it is given’ be sure to invoke divine assistance when you feel lost. Why? One of the Universal Laws that govern us all is the Law of Free Will. Our spirit guides and ancestors can’t help us unless they’re invited to do so. Call upon whichever ascended master, archangel or Goddess you prefer to assist you in your hour of need and visualize handing over your burdens, worries and fears. You can then stop fixating on them and mentally going round in circles. This simple sacred act of intent helps us become receptive to insights that can pierce the darkness of our mind.
  2. Incubate. When we have a lot going on internally, we can feel like we don’t have the energy for the outside world. Allow yourself retreat time to rest and reflect on your past hurts and experiences. Gestation is necessary if we are to birth a new perspective. Do not feel ashamed if you want to stay in bed and cocoon as this is what is necessary to facilitate your inner transformation. The more we accept that it is perfectly natural to undergo this chrysalis time, the easier it will be.
  3. Allow Yourself to Feel. In the act of birth, every unexpressed emotion finds the nearest exit. So too, when we’re birthing a new life chapter, identity or perspective, we can feel extra tender and emotional. Just as the most growth occurs in Spring, when we have the highest rainfall, our tears allow us to soften and become fertile for inner growth. So aim to become Zen about your feelings and allow them to surface and be expressed freely and without judgment. This ensures we don’t stay stuck in one suppressed emotional state, which results in depression – feeling grey – although it does mean risking feeling black in order to again feel the other colors on the spectrum.
  4. Face Your Shadow. Our shadow is comprised of our deepest, darkest fears about ourselves. Just as a thriller film is made more terrifying by the suspense of the worst moment, our anticipation of confronting our greatest fear is often worse than the moment we acknowledge we possess the traits we have most vehemently denied and judged in others.
  1. Acceptance. This is the turning point, when we accept and integrate what we had once rejected in ourselves. Self-acceptance shifts us out of the critical mind and back into our hearts, the place of our soul essence. Taking responsibility for our dark side activates our inner parent, the one who embraces our wounded inner child and will love us unconditionally, making us feel more whole and healed.

When next you find yourself feeling dark or experiencing change, loss or confusion, try one or more of the following practices to help reconnect you with your soul wisdom.

  1. Creative self-expression, such as poetry, painting, and composing music, helps us transmute negative experiences into works of beauty and wisdom through accessing the language of our soul. Art helps us heal and integrate trauma by recording our inner landscape; this helps us make sense of the dark and return to the light.
  2. Parables and myths help us identify our archetypal lessons and provide a map to integrate disassociated aspects of our psyche.
  3. Simple self-created rituals help us to set clear intent, anchor changes, and surrender to a higher power by invoking insight and guidance.
  4. Dream analysis and oracles help us consciously understand messages from our subconscious, and they act as keys to new ways of seeing.
  5. Bathing and guided meditations help us enter the stillness, so we’re receptive to  intuitive insights.

Tanishka is the author of five books and has taught sacred women’s wisdom and kundalini awakening practices for over 20 years. She has taught women in 43 countries to facilitate Red Tent women’s circles as a community-building initiative. She hosts workshops and retreats around the world. Over half a million people follow her daily intuitive guidance on her blog The Moon Woman.

What Makes a Woman a Goddess?

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¿Qué es el EFT? Y como puede ayudarnos

15 Jul

¿Que es la Tecnica de Libertad Emocional?

La Tecnica de Libertad Emocional o EFT (por sus siglas en ingles), es la tecnica de acupresión psicológica que normalmente uso en mi práctica y la que más recomiendo para optimizar su salud emocional. Aunque todavia se pasa por alto, la salud emocional es definitivamente esencial para su salud y curación fisica—sin importar lo devoto que es en su alimentación y estilo de vida apropiados, usted no obtendrá la curación ideal y poder preventivo de su cuerpo si las barreras emocionales se interponen en su camino.

EFT es muy fácil de aprender y le ayudará a:

  • Remover las Emociones Negativas
  • Reducir los Antojos Alimenticios
  • Reducir o Eliminar el Dolor
  • Implementar Metas Positivas

EFT es una forma de acupuntura psicológica basada en la misma energia meridiana usada en la acupuntura tradicional para curar enfermedades fisicas y emocionales durante más de cinco mil años, pero sin la agresividad de las agujas. En cambio, simples golpecitos con las puntas de los dedos son utilizados para permitir la entrada de la energia cinetica a los meridianos especificos sobre la cabeza y pecho mientras se enfoca en su problema especifico—ya sea un evento traumático, una adicción, dolor, etc. –además de las afirmaciones positivas de su voz.

Esta combinación de golpear en la energia meridiana y hacer afirmaciones positivas en voz alta eliminan el “corto circuito” – que es su bloqueo emocional – que va desde su sistema de bioenergia de su cuerpo, para asi restaura el equilibrio de su mente y cuerpo, que es esencial para una salud optima y curación de enfermedades fisicas.

Algunas personas al principio no le tienen mucha confianza a los principios en los que se basa el EFT— la energia electromagnetica que fluye por su cuerpo y regula nuestra salud se está haciendo popular recientemente en el occidente. Otras personas se sorprenden inicialmente (y en ocasiones les divierte) la metodologia de EFT y de las afirmaciones, cuyos elementos básicos podrá aprender aqui.

Tenga en cuenta que, más que cualquier otro metodo tradicional o alternativo que he utilizado e investigado, el EFT si funciona. He sido testigo de los resultados en mis pacientes desde que decidieron utilizar exclusivamente el EFT en Junio del 2001. De hecho, debido a su alto indice de exito, el uso de EFT se ha propagado rápidamente, y los medicos que emplean EFT ahora se pueden encontrar en todos los rincones del mundo y en todos los paises.

Este manual le proporciona una visión general sobre dónde y cómo golpear, y las tecnicas de afirmación apropiadas, para que utiliceel EFT inmediatamente para ayudarse a usted mismo y a otras personas. Tambien le proporcionara una introducción a algunas tecnicas y principios avanzados de EFT que puede emplear. Si está interesado en tomar las prácticas y conocimiento del EFT a un nivel más elevado, por favor considere Try It On Everything.

 

Todo el Mundo Conoce la Regla de Oro

No le haga a los demás no que no quiere que le hagan a usted.

Es muy dificil amar al prójimo si no se ama a uno mismo.

Bueno, cuando hablo de amarse a si mismo, no estoy hablando de vanidad o arrogancia si no respeto increible de que lo que realmente es cada persona.

Usted no puede hacerse daño a usted mismo, o daño a alguien más. La aceptación incondicional es una de los principales objetivos en la vida y eso comienza con la aceptación y amor propio.

La cosa primordial que podemos hacer nosotros mismos para amarnos, especialmente en la perdida de peso es alejarnos de la critica. Si deseamos seguir adelante con el progreso tenemos que dejar de criticarnos a nosotros mismos ahora y siempre, nunca más. Es importante respetarnos a nosotros mismos y nunca más volvernos a criticar.

Muchos de nosotros nos hemos criticado y decepcionado por muchos años. Si queremos seguir adelante con este progreso, necesitamos ser persistentes con este patrón.

Cuando nosotros nos criticamos a nosotros mismos contribuimos a los cambios negativos en cambio cuando nos aceptamos a nosotros mismos facilitamos los cambios positivos. Nuestros pensamientos crean y contribuyen a todas nuestras experiencias de la vida, especialmente en relación con los problemas de salud.

Usted tiene control completo sobre sus pensamientos, no de sus emociones. Elija los pensamientos que sean nutritivos y de ayuda. La critica personal no nos ayuda a cambiar nada. Por lo tanto evite criticarse a usted mismo.

Necesita aceptarse a usted mismo de la manera que es. Si usted no se admira con diez, veinte, cincuenta o cien libras de más, será muy poco probable que se admire teniendo un peso ideal. La auto-aceptación es la clave fundamental.

Usted puede utilizar las afirmaciones de EFT para ayudarle a abordar el problema central que parece ser la clave de los problemas de salud en la mayoria de las personas, que es amarse a uno mismo y transformar pacificamente el auto critica.

Todas las personas hemos tomados decisiones negativas en el pasado, todos en general. La buena noticia es que todos tenemos la opción. Tenemos la opción de desencadenarnos del modelo anterior. Puede elegir pensamientos diferentes, de ayuda y nutritivos. Renunciar al modelo anterior negativo con amor, nos llevara hacia un nuevo modelo con facilidad.

Por favor siempre evite castigarse o desanimarse a usted mismo.

Perdón

Esta es una de las claves para comenzar exitosamente con la tecnica de libertad emocional, el perdón hacia los demás es tan importante como perdonarse a uno mismo. El no perdonar a los demás, no nos daña en lo mas minimo, pero causa estragos en nosotros, ya que el problema no es de ellos, es de nosotros.

Las personas que tienen problemas amándose a si mismos, siempre tendrán problemas para aprende a perdonar a los demás. El no perdonar, nos cierra las puertas, sin embargo, cuando perdona y olvida, no solo nos quitamos un gran peso de encima, sino que tambien se abre la puerta hacia el amor por nosotros mismos.

Cuando usted no perdona, cuando no olvida, lo que sucede es que el pasado y usted se relacionan y al estar estancado en el pasado no nos permite vivir el presente. Y si no puede vivir en el momento presente, ¿Cómo usted cree que podrá crear un futuro saludable y emocionante?

Esa es una caracteristica definitivamente maravillosa y poderosa de EFT, que le permite perdonar a alguien con eficacia. Cuento con la Tecnica de Libertad Emocional que le ayudara a muchas personas perdonar a un nivel profundo.

No solo en su cabeza, sino en su corazón, donde en realidad importa.

Su Lenguaje

Sin duda me he dado cuenta de esto en muchas personas con las que he aplicado esta tecnica de libertad emocional. Todo comienza con nuestro dialogo interno. Nuestro dialogo interno o la manera en que nos hablamos a nosotros mismos es tan importante debido a que es la base de nuestra palabra.

Esto establece la atmosfera mental en la que operamos. Esto atraerá a nuestras experiencias. Se ha dado cuenta que su subconsciente es en realidad un transmisor y receptor electromagnetico. Difunde las emociones en el espacio y lo que difundimos tiende a ser recibido por nuestro entorno.

TENGA MUCHO CUIDADO CON SU LENGUAJE

Se da cuenta que mucho de su poder está en su vocabulario. Los pensamientos que piensa y las palabras que dice están creando su futuro. Las cosas que dice son la extensión de sus pensamientos, por eso es muy importante nunca reprenderse a si mismo.

Siempre digase a usted mismo que está haciendo todo lo mejor posible

Si lo único que hace es decirse a usted mismo que esta gordo y feo, y además odia esa manera de ser, entonces se mantendrá encadenado. Usted necesita el apoyo amoroso y posteriormente hacer cambios. Usted necesita constantemente perdonarse a usted mismo por no ser perfecto.

Muchos de nosotros pensamos que tenemos que ser malos o erróneos antes de que podamos cambiar, pero en realidad no es asi. Cuando usted proviene de un entorno amoroso y de aceptación, los cambios pueden ser más sencillos. Usted hace un cambio por que usted desea mejorar su calidad de vida, y no porque sea una mala persona que quiere ser mejor.

Y el saber más le permitirá hacer las cosas de diferente manera, asi que nunca se reprima a usted mismo por lo que antes era.

Junto con la aplicación de la tecnica de libertad emocional diga, “hago lo mejor que puedo”.

Recuerde, es necesario perdonarse constantemente por no ser perfecto.

¿Qué es el Tapping? Episodio 1.

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Using Color Energy As A Tool For Transformation

6 Jul

As soon as I hear the sound of someone’s voice, I start to see a glow (either physically around them or in my mind’s eye if I am on the phone). I believe that when I hear a person’s voice, I am seeing the color of their current energy, or, even deeper, the color of their soul. I explain what this color’s qualities are as a jumping-off point, and then I use my intuition to tap into how this color applies to my client’s specific life path.

My goal for my book – Your Life in Color is to relay the information about color that I have collected over the years in the hope that you can use it as a tool for self-improvement. You do not need any previous experience with intuition in order to utilize my approach. All levels are welcome! It is wonderful if you believe in energy and the idea of auras. Or if you are just curious about people whose brains process energy and information differently, that’s great too. Regardless of your beliefs, there are plenty of historical, scientific, and cultural references to keep you informed about the power of color.


Harnessing the power of color can work for anyone. I used to spend my days telling people what color I saw around them. I would describe the color I saw when they said their name, and then observe how these colors would change when they spoke about their job or love life. But after seeing literally thousands of auras around clients all over the world, I started to notice clearly repeating patterns and character traits associated with each color. Why was it that every self-employed person had a yellow or golden color around them? Or if someone had been cheated on, why would I always see a certain shade of blue?

I expanded my studies by taking courses on color therapy, meditation, and color healing. I read countless books because I wanted to know more about color energy. What I noticed was that most approaches to chakra or aura color would describe each color’s qualities but would not offer practical advice on how to actually invoke or harness the energy of each color. With this in mind, I took regular notes on what I saw around my clients, offering suggestions on how they could use certain colors if they needed a boost of any particular energy. The colors I perceived around clients meant I could see their strengths and also which colors could be used to minimize those traits that didn’t serve them. After years of reading this new language, I finally began to understand. This is how Your Life in Color came into being.

Color not only became my language for accessing information with clients, but it also offered powerful benefits I can now share with you to use whenever you need to. We are all born intuitive. Our intuitive abilities can be strengthened just like any other muscle. I teach workshops on seeing auras, and I have literally never had a participant leave without seeing color energy around another person. Commit to an exercise regimen, and anyone can get into their best personal shape.

Not many people hone their intuition because we are taught from an early age to seek advice from outside sources. If we think of intuition as a gift, then it is not something we actually have control over. It’s much easier to look outward for guidance, but in truth, the most accurate psychic reading you will ever receive can come from inside of you.
I think we are all gifted. Or more importantly, let’s replace the word gifted with connected. This magical planet we live on is surrounded by energy and blanketed in color messages from the universe. It would seem strange to me if only a select few of us were able to see, hear, or know that energy on a deeper level than anyone else.

To succeed as a doctor, lawyer, detective, investor, or in just about any other job, we must tap into our intuitive abilities. You may call your intuition a “feeling” or “hunch,” but for me, “being psychic” simply means that I have developed my intuitive muscles through practice and seeing thousands of clients. It’s sort of like the difference between someone who exercises twice a week and someone who is a personal trainer.

What if your own soul was the GPS you could use to consciously locate yourself in the universe and connect to all higher wisdom and understanding? If we each have our own inner guidance system, then color serves as an address on the map of our life. Each color helps us find specific points on the map that we need to get to. Want more leadership qualities? Follow the route toward purple. Need a boost of self-love? Buckle up and head toward pink.
Our journey together begins with me outlining my process of harnessing each color’s energy. I refer to this as color activation. But that is only the beginning. In each chapter of Your Life in Color,  we will explore one color to see how its energy can affect you and your environment. We will delve into the historical, cultural, scientific, and religious associations of color to see how they align with the qualities I see. I will tell you about clients who used color to make positive life changes, as well as offering various examples from my own life.

I will then lay out step-by-step instructions on how to incorporate color into your life through a series of techniques that have been tested by my clients. I will show you how to activate color in your life through exercises, affirmations, visual meditations, color props, and more. Every technique is designed to be a powerful, practical tool in enhancing your life. I am so excited to share this information with you! You can learn more about my book here, and if you would like a color reading with me, see my Hay House Radio show, Cosmic Coach Tuesdays at 9 AM PT/12 PM ET.

Psychic Dougall Fraser On Using Color In Your Life

 

 

 

Dougall Fraser is an internationally recognized psychic, author, and cosmic coach. He utilizes color therapy, clairvoyance, intuition, empathy, interior design, and practical advice to help people assess and attain their goals and dreams.

 

Do You Control Your Thoughts?

19 Jun

Your life is not hopeless as there are many things that make life worth living. The point is: where do you wish to focus? On the half-empty glass or the half-full glass?

Thoughts are a double-edged sword. They are the foundations for the creative process and they are also the basis for turning our mindsets negative and even destructive. It is the same mind that creates the eternal art of Leonardo da Vinci, the mathematical genius of Albert Einstein and also the madness of Adolf Hitler.

It is now estimated that, on an average, 60,000 thoughts cross our minds every day. The sad part is that most of us have no control over our thoughts. One of the best attributes of a thought I have heard is that it is like mercury: you can never catch it! I think it is pretty much obvious why we should have some control over our thoughts; unless we do, we become their slave. The finest logical deduction I have read about how thoughts shape our destiny is by His Holiness the 14th Dalai Lama. He says:

Take care of your Thoughts because they become Words.

Take care of your Words because they will become Actions.

Take care of your Actions because they will become Habits.

Take care of your Habits because they will form your Character.

Take care of your Character because it will form your Destiny.

And your Destiny will be your Life!

I don’t think there is anything more to be said on this topic after you have read, and absorbed, this simple elegant truth by one of the greatest spiritual masters of our times.

There is, however, one aspect of the thought process on which I wish to comment. It is the link between thoughts and depression, a syndrome that is endemic these days. The causes of depression are myriad but they get worsened by our recurring negative thoughts, which ensnare us.

Some of us have the ability to rationalize any untoward incident, but a large number cannot, and get sucked into depressive thoughts, which at the very worst, can virtually paralyze them. That antidepressants are among the largest selling pharmaceuticals only reflects how rampant depression is in our rootless societies where the anchor of a joint family system has been yanked out.

So, how does one try to control thoughts? One way to control anger is to count backwards from fifty to zero. Another method is to try to recall the happy moments of your life. Like memories of your childhood, the beautiful sunset that you last saw, the tender moments with your mother or the touch of your loved one.

It is not just enough to think of these as visuals; you should also feel these moments. If you do so, you will realize that your fit of depression is momentary. Your life is not hopeless as there are many things that make life worth living. The point is: where do you wish to focus? On the half-empty glass or the half-full glass?

Anupam Kher has a repertoire of over 450 films in a career spanning more than 25 years.

 

Vídeo

Encuentra tu propósito de vida

16 Jun

La gente que conocemos, las conversaciones que tenemos, los programas que vemos, los libros que leemos, todo en nuestro alrededor tiene una fuerte influencia en nuestra vida.

Pero con demasiada frecuencia, no nos tomamos el tiempo para evaluar el entorno en que vivimos y no nos aseguramos de que estén alineados con nuestros objetivos y propósitos de vida.

¿Pero cómo definir nuestros propósitos? Algunas personas los tienen muy claros pero otras van por la vida sin habérselos preguntado o encontrado.

Tú puedes encontrar el propósito de tu vida contestando estas simples preguntas:

  1. ¿Qué te inspira?
  2. ¿Qué te gusta hacer?¿Qué te apasiona? ¿Qué es único y original de lo que sabes?
  3. ¿Para quién lo haces?
  4. ¿Qué es lo que quieren o necesitan de ti?
  5. ¿Cómo cambian o se transforman las personas como resultado de lo que tú compartiste con ellos?

Ahora que tienes definido tu propósito también es importante que tengas muy claro: ¿Cuál es tu sueño o visión del futuro? Más información en cómo desarrollar tu visión.

El siguiente paso es enfocarte a lograr tu visión del futuro

En este proceso es importante tomar en consideración las siguientes tres señales de advertencia de cosas que necesitaras cambiar en tu travesía.

1) La gente alrededor de ti no está centrada en el crecimiento

Si siempre estás a la cabeza del grupo, entonces estás en el grupo equivocado. Es importante contar con las personas que tienen más experiencia que tú, de las que constantemente puedas aprender.

Si tú eres la “estrella”, la que constantemente piensas que brilla, tu crecimiento personal va a comenzar a aminorar. Si la gente que tienes a tu alrededor no tiene interés en crecer, es importante que encuentres grupos de expertos, de personas más exitosas que tú. Una forma rápida de hacer este cambio es encontrar una comunidad. Puede ser un foro en línea o un grupo de networking. Lo importante es identificar personas o grupos que te inspiren y de los que puedas aprender.

2) ¿Cuál fue tu último reto? Sal de tu apatía conformista

Dicen que si sientes que algo te incomoda es porque lo necesitas.“La vida comienza al salir de tu zona de confort”. Cada vez que ha sucedido algo importante en mi vida, es cuando me salí de mi zona de apatía y conformismo.

Para crecer necesitamos hacer cosas que nunca hemos hecho, algo que nos produce miedo o incertidumbre e inclusive cambiar nuestra forma de pensar y ver las cosas desde una perspectiva diferente. Dale la bienvenida al cambio y vence tus miedos.

3) No te despiertas emocionado

Solo tenemos una vida y si no te despiertas emocionado es el momento de cambiar. Construimos nuestro futuro con las acciones que realizamos diariamente. No hay botón de reinicio. Una vez que el tiempo se va, nunca regresa. Cada día deberíamos de levantarnos con ganas y entusiasmo trabajando en el futuro que queremos, construir haciendo algo que realmente nos importa.

Haz de cada lunes un viernes. Cuando haces lo que te interesa, todos los días son “fin de semana” pues disfrutas cada momento.

Tamara Medina Sapovalova es Business Confidence Coach, miembro de Tech London Advocates fundadora de Sapovalova Coaching y autora del libro “10 días, 10 acciones, 10 veces más productivo” publicado en ingles y español. Ha escrito en varias revistas y publicaciones internacionales.

 

Descubre cuál es tu propósito de vida – Marca Personal – Renata Roa Moreno.

 

Compilación realizada por Lorena Lacaille.

 

 

Vídeo

5 Things Not to Do in the Morning | Jack Canfield and more…

13 Jun

When Success Is Slow, What Can You Do?

Pop Quiz: Can success be sped up? Is there an antidote to slow outcomes despite arduous planning and actions taken? What is the secret for seeing huge results right now?!

I get versions of these questions frequently from people who feel frustrated at sluggish progress in their success journey – despite all the know-how and principles they rigorously employ.

First, let’s get one thing straight…

When we admire someone’s success, or even our own, we often focus on the end result and not so much on the effort (and time) that it took to get there. This can cultivate unrealistic expectations, especially the idea that overnight success can happen through careful strategy and an execution of sound advice.

The truth be told, success typically follows a series of little events and achievements that can seem to take an eternity, that include a few disappointments along the way, and that challenge everything about you to the core – your stamina, courage, integrity, and even your willingness to keep going.

If you focus on what’s not working, guess what: You’re likely coming from a place of aggravation as your mind wraps around all that is wrong. You may even have negative thoughts like “I’m not good enough,” “It will never work,” or “Something must be wrong with me.” What this mentally does is engender more of these counter-productive feelings. And given what we know about the Law of Attraction, you attract what you are feeling. So negative experiences, people, and results will beget more negative experience, people, and results. There’s not much success in that.

The key, then, is to focus on what IS working. To do so, I recommend two simple practices: journaling and meditation.

Maintaining a journal (I call it an Evidence Log, Results Journal, or Gratitude Journal) is a great way to steer your attention to the positive and continually renew your vision for yourself.

Start each day with reflections on what you are grateful for in your life (list them out!) and end each day with notes on what went right (again, write them down), however small.

Meditation can be powerful tool for arriving at solutions to problems and shifting your attitude so you can attract success sooner rather than later. The magic of meditation is its ability to essentially shut down the outer layer of your judgmental, highly-critical brain and allow your unconscious mind to take over. This is where you enter a deeper state of inner peace and joy, tapping into a higher level of creativity that will help usher in the results you want.

Don’t know how to meditate? Lots of books and materials are available to guide you this practice. It’s easier than you think.

Okay, let’s say you’re doing ALL these things, but you still aren’t happy with your results. I’ll ask you, are you taking real ACTION?

You may be taking the actions you are used to taking. But therein lies the problem: if you keep doing what you’ve already done then you’ll keep getting what you’ve always gotten. It’s a matter of practicing some new behaviors. Shake things up a bit and see if you can take new actions or modify existing ones.

Remember the Rule of 5. Every day do five specific things that take you toward your goal. Change up the five actions regularly and be open to feedback so you know when you’re off course.

Lastly, I want to remind you about patience. It’s natural to underestimate how long a certain goal can take, especially a profound one. When I set a goal to become a millionaire the year was 1983. How long did it take? Eleven years. It took time for Chicken Soup for the Soul to hit the bestseller lists. You could say our tenure on the New York Times list was more than a decade in the making. That’s a lot of patience for someone who initially wanted overnight success.

So, yes, patience is a virtue. But keep at it, and in no time, you’ll be only one week, or one day away from your ultimate success.

Remember… be grateful, reflect on what IS working and continue to take ACTION!

© 2007 Jack Canfield

5 Things Not to Do in the Morning | Jack Canfield

 

Compilación realizada por Lorena Lacaille.