“I don’t understand why I end up in the same place again and again. What am I doing wrong?”
“I keep meeting the same kind of unavailable guys. I know the perfect man is out there for me but why can’t I find him?”
“I know I’m meant to serve, but I’m confused about my purpose. Why am I blocked?”
“I have so much passion to help others, but I can’t seem to make a living at it. What am I missing?”
These are the kind of questions I’m asked a lot these days when doing a reading or coaching a client. If you’re on a path to conscious awareness you’re likely sensing that something in you wants to change and evolve. You know there is more to create and experience. You’re committed to a better world, a higher level of service, and more abundance.
So you make plans to manifest your goals, ignite your passion and desires, and do your affirmations. Your spiritual tank is all filled up and ignited by the spirit-filled words “Thy will be done through me.”
This kind of abracadabra works. I know it intimately. When you’re in alignment with purpose and destiny, things fall into place. You’re sailing toward the Island of Dreams and about to claim your treasure. Then suddenly somehow an invisible pirate seems to hijack your “boat” and you find yourself sailing in circles, or capsizing, or stuck visiting the same old places you thought you were done with, and wondering what the heck? Where did everybody go?
Why does this happen and what can you do about it?
Welcome to the workings of your subconscious mind. We all experience this. Getting thrown back in time at the least convenient moments on our journey is normal. If you want to light up a new life and a new you, you might need help removing the programs that keep you in the loop of repeat performance and all-too-familiar challenges.
Your limiting patterns of thought, behavior, and old outmoded beliefs are hidden in your subconscious and are designed to keep you in the familiar habituated world you’ve been inhabiting but trying so hard to get out of. It’s not your fault—so be compassionate with yourself and stop the shame and blame game. It’s how the mind is designed.
How the Subconscious Works
Here’s a simple way to look at it. We learn through our experience and whatever is repeated and reinforced by reaction, focus, or exposure in the environment becomes a pattern that gets stored so we don’t have to think about it. Patterns are switched on by strong emotions, especially when we learn that life isn’t safe, we’re not enough, we’ll be punished if we’re different, etc. Whatever experience is accompanied by a strong emotion, sets up a neural network in the brain, a circuitry that lights up when faced with a similar situation. This pattern, or program is reinforced by your reaction.
Your automatic pilot, which I like to call the “auto-pirate,” comes on to take over the wheel. It’s job? To keep reminding you of what you once knew, what you came to believe, when the first experience set up the system to be recalled at a later date just in case. Even if you don’t intellectually believe it now and even if it’s not what you want, you embody the old experience because the mind then sets the gene response in motion. The hormones fly and you actually are back in time when you were 3. Only you’re really 45!
This response becomes the foundation for how you see the world, and you aren’t even aware of it. Because it’s doing its special sorting job, the subconscious also seeks the familiar to align with. It literally tells you what to look for in the outer world. Why? Repetition becomes a pattern that is no longer at the aware level of your mind. It’s showing you evidence that what you have come to believe and what you’re familiar with is true. We’re not equipped to handle all the information and experiences we have—most of that goes into the watery depths of the Unconscious. Heightened emotions and strong experiences set us up to recognize their source, or something that appears to be like that. Most of our main patterns are set up in early childhood when we’re basically little computers downloading everything in our environment. This is why if you want to light up a new you, you’ve got to find a way to short circuit the old one.
Creating a New You
I’ve spent the better part of 24 years as an intuitive counselor researching and studying consciousness, psychology and metaphysics. Why? Because I want to make a real difference in people’s lives not just tell them where they’ve been, where they are now and where their compass is pointing. I’m committed to helping them get to where they want to go. Especially since I can invariably see they will pick the same thing over and over again until something happens to create a window of opportunity to make a real change.
Why not help people transform themselves into becoming the one who genuinely lives the life they desire? I’ve done this work myself and I know the only way I got the amazing life I have today is because of the work I did and still do to reprogram my subconscious. I went from being very insecure—habitually thinking I was unworthy, not enough, with an expectation of abandonment to feeling at peace inside my own skin, excited about life, knowing fully who I am and why I am here. I did not do this just by wanting a better life, setting goals, making Dream Boards, and saying affirmations although those have been and still are important tools.
My change was the result of years of daily spiritual and mental discipline, replacing old programs, and reinforcing new ones. But I wanted to create something that would help people get there faster. As a result, I developed The Invision Process®. So much inspired and informed my work—indigenous traditions, brain science, the work of Carl Jung, and my personal experiences—so I began exploring it further, teaching it, and experimenting through workshops and seminars. The results were profound.
Those 20 years of exploration became the foundation of my book The Map: Finding the Magic and Meaning in the Story of Your Life. In the past 4 years, I have refined it further and began seriously teaching it and providing certification for coaches and practitioners. What I found was that if we could access the deeper layer of the mind, the Unconscious, we’d find the source of the programs and patterns stored in the subconscious mind that were blocking our success. The Unconscious is the direct connector to our imagination. By engaging it, giving it a container or “language” with which to speak to us, we could influence it by providing it with new information that it would recognize and choose.
What I stumbled upon was a way to integrate and ignite all three levels of mind—conscious, subconscious, and unconscious. How? By using the metaphor of the environment as a key to our freedom to shift from stuck to breakthrough.
Dr. Bruce Lipton, Dr. Joe Dispenza, Dr. Dean Radin, Dr. Ervin Laszlo, and many others have provided detailed evidence to reveal that energy is the epiphenomena of matter. The environment of our thoughts, feelings, and beliefs is where we live most of the time. We inhabit ourselves. We inhabit our stories and those create our destiny because they are grounded in who we think we are.
I suggested that if the environment of our minds impacts our lives so forcefully, what if we could see it as a place, using metaphors of landscapes to describe where we were at any given moment. Have you ever said you felt stuck in the mud, can’t see the forest for the trees, maybe drowning in sorrow, or facing a mountain of work? We instinctively see and describe ourselves as “somewhere”—a place or landscape. We experience ourselves in time and space this way.
When we feel our feelings we think they are forever. If we could learn to observe them as the temporary place we inhabit, would that not set us free? When you ask yourself, “When I feel this trigger, where am I?” Learn to observe what comes up for you. All of a sudden, you’re empowered as an observer instead of being it—you can see it rather than be it.
Best of all, you don’t have to stay there. You can always leave a landscape more easily than trying to change your mind or trying not to react to something. After all, triggers don’t work that way. They are like instant Technicolor rides back into the past complete with all the feelings that were there the first time the program was initiated.
When you feel overwhelmed or stressed or fearful, what kind of choices do you make from that state of mind? Your intuition and intellect shut off, and the survival instinct goes into gear. All your plans for the future crumple in that moment because they don’t exist. That auto-pirate is at the wheel and your inner 3 year old is its hostage. Why? Because we embody the experience. The subconscious mind and the physical body and all its wondrous chemistry recreate the environment you don’t want to be in. You are your experience when you take all that into account. That’s why it feels so hard and confusing to change it.
What if you could shift from feeling trapped by your reactions to becoming calm and observant? You would respond rather than react and make much better choices. Your old wounds eventually heal and the triggers become less powerful and blindsiding.
With repetition, rehearsing a new version of yourself, your old patterns eventually go dormant and you successfully reprogram your subconscious. Now your intuition is more consistently clear, your imagination inspired, your thoughts, actions, and choices will all be coherent with the new reality you’re manifesting.
Will it be perfect? No. Will you still get triggered? Likely. But you will be able to be aware and conscious and have the ability to make an empowered choice, and kick the auto-pirate off your boat before he hijacks you again!
Ready? Your Island of Dreams is waiting.