How to create your own support system.
LIFE SHOULD FEEL EASY and effortless, like floating on a buoy on a beautiful summer day. Instead, most of us live like we’re trying to hold the buoy underwater—applying so much resistance is exhausting. There are so many lies that we don’t even realize are lies. It takes great effort to live in this way, yet all it takes is letting go . . . of fear, anger, and of the lies we’ve fed ourselves. We must allow our truth to rise to the surface in order to resonate in our natural and elevated place. Try telling this to someone who thinks the buoy is saving her life. Letting go is terrifying!
As you go about your day, be aware of what you’re feeling. When a moment of weakness arrives (whether it’s making an excuse; complaining and whining; popping a pill; smoking a joint; heading to the bar, mall, or casino; watching a porno; gambling your paycheck; picking up a stranger; working longer and longer hours; or simply vacating in front of the TV all night with ice cream and potato chips) stop and ask yourself, What am I really feeling? Don’t beat yourself up for the ways you want to escape your fears—instead, look at what’s really going on.
Each time you take the high road, your weaknesses lose power over you, and eventually, you’ll realize that nothing has a hold on you. That is true empowerment!
Taking the high road may sound easier said than done, but right now, while you’re feeling strong and inspired, create the support system you’ll need when a moment of weakness arrives. For example, if you tend to eat or drink when you get upset, come up with a list of positive alternatives right now. This will be your line of defense!
Make your arrangements in advance with a person you can call for a talk or walk. Perhaps you could find a workout buddy or running partner. Is there a favorite bookstore you could visit? A journal you could pour your thoughts into? Maybe you could meet up with a squash or tennis buddy to whack away your frustrations together. Could you run a hot bubble bath and meditate? Go for a yoga class? Listen to your favorite playlist? Head to a spa for a massage or manicure? Visit a museum or art gallery to clear your head? You could even just make sure that you have plenty of healthy snacks in the refrigerator.
Maybe you have a tendency to get stressed over your finances and at times pull the covers over your head, leaving the mail to pile up unopened. Or maybe you jump in your car and head to the mall to shop away your woes. You, too, must create your “high road” choices before the next worrisome episode arrives. Call a financial planner now! You don’t need to have lots of money to talk with someone. They’ll help anyone, even those in dire need of getting out of trouble. Don’t be embarrassed! This takes courage, too. Your planner will give you an array of suggestions that will offer you hope and a sense of empowerment. Taking action doesn’t cause anxiety; it’s the not taking action that does!
When your moment of weakness arrives, pull out your “high road” choices, your line of defense, and do something that will add to your life force rather than take from it!
Once you’ve made your list, read it over every day. Get very familiar with your better options so that when you’re faced with a crisis, they become second nature.
The next step is the most crucial one of all: Before you make any decision—stop! Don’t react.
In order to do so, you must be willing to pause, even if for just 30 seconds (30 seconds of no talking, moving, thinking, speculating, worrying, or considering). Take this time to just breathe and clear your mind. Ask yourself, What do I want to feel?
I guarantee you want to feel empowered. You want to create a magnificent life. You want to enjoy the fruits of your labor, not squander them. You want a great relationship, not to get even. You want a beautiful, healthy body, not indigestion and guilt. You want peace, joy, love, and harmony—not fighting, pain, fear, and lack. One road will lead you to your dreams, the other to your downfall. In your moment of weakness, just stop, breathe, and say a prayer:
God, thank you for helping me make the right choice.
Thank you for giving me freedom to choose what I want.
Thank you for giving me so much courage and such a willing spirit.
There is nothing I can’t do through You.
Excerpted from Simply . . . Empowered! by Crystal Andrus. Copyright © 2010 (Hay House).
Crystal Andrus is the one of North America’s most dynamic health and fitness experts, motivational speakers, and is a leading authority on balancing a woman’s work, family, and personal well-being. Author of the bestselling book, Simply…Woman! The 12 Week BODY-MIND-SOUL Total Transformation Program, she has helped thousands transform their bodies—and lives.