Is there a scene from your past that your mind plays over and over? One of those moments where you wish you could have done it differently? And do you suffer each time you revisit that moment?I have one of those moments. It came up AGAIN, in my morning meditation. Only this time, something shifted!So here’s the scene. I was in a powerful meditation long ago with my spiritual teacher. I thought I was fully connected to God and romping in joy. She stopped me and said that was my ego, not my connection to God.I was devastated by embarassement and humiliation. I fell into a deep pit of self-judgment and despair. In fact, it took a number of years to “recover” from that moment, but it lingered, pestering me.I could find a place where I was glad that the ego had been revealed disguising itself as God. I could see it happening in other people, and yet, something from that experience lingered, making me suffer with humiliation and regret.Until this morning!When that moment popped up in my meditation, a new light dawned with it. An alternative scene flashed through not only my mind, but my suffering emotional body, and my soul.This is a life-altering epiphany for me. I pray that it will bring you some peace and healing in a past memory that you suffer from, too.Here it is.Humilation and humility can seem to be very close together. When our ego is exposed, it sends a shock wave through our mind and emotions that is very painful. I could manage a tiny bit of humility. I could be glad that my ego had been revealed. But up to this moment, I was still stuck in the ego’s humiliation.The change came in a vision. What if I had simply sat in a prayer of gratitude?Lord, thank you for revealing this disguise of the ego. I am deeply grateful. I only want pure truth and pure love. I only want your pure presence. I do not want to be dupped into thinking I am connected to you when it is my ego! Even though part of me feels humiliated, embarassed and deeply wounded, that is the false part of me. The true part wants only your pure Presence and love. Thank you. I love you. I am deeply grateful for this experience of truth.
This prayer has permeated and healed that wounded place in my emotions. I am free.I pray that you are blessed and benedicted by this prayer of gratitude.With love,